You – guy who submitted a piece that was from the point of view of a cat and then posted on a public online writing forum that you had sent it to me and then posted on that public online writing forum that I had rejected it and could everyone read it and tell you what was wrong with it but nobody really did that, and then when my new issue came out you wrote on the very same public online forum that you were relieved you hadn't been in my issue because the pieces didn't make any sense – well you with your cat work, I cast you out. Never may you submit to this journal again, nor can your children, nor their children, nor their children, even down to the seventh generation. I declare you anathema and I condemn you to walk the earth forever writing short prose things that are from the point of view of a cat, but which never explicitly say they are from the point of view of a cat, as if there is some special literary pleasure in reading a short prose work that is really from the point of view of a cat but never says so, and I condemn you to never understand why no one wants to publish them.

Believe me, if I could remember your name I would delete anything you sent me without even reading it. You, Cat Work Guy, are banned for life.